


To help me transcribe this interview, I have purchased one of Claire's favorite snacks, Snyder's Hot Buffalo Wing flavored pretzel bits. They are....amazing.
What is Your Full Name?
Claire Lillian Pittari.
Do you have any nicknames?
Yeah, uh huh, yeah I do. Uh, I dunno, um…..Tucky has taken to calling me Sticks or Sticky, but it’s not sticking, so to speak….Claire Bear, Pit Stains, that’s a good one. I don’t really listen to people when they’re talking to me…..
Where are you from?
Connecticut. Ahhh, you wanna a town name? Bethlehem….birth place of our savior.
What brought you to Boston?
I was gonna try to go to school. And then one thing led to another, and here I am….
Where do you go to school?
I can technically still answer this. I am a student at the School of Museum of Fine Arts. For like another 5 minutes.
How long have you worked at Diesel?
Ahhh, like 6 months….??
Why did you choose Diesel?
I thought it might get me laid, I didn’t have any money….Did I not write that on the application?
What was your most memorable Diesel moment?
We leave this one and come back, maybe 3 times…
Uh….I do like it here…Um…Oh wait, I do like that it’s given me the opportunity to like, I gave up music snobbery like rock snobbery and that kind of stuff, it’s boring, it’s funner to not be a music snob you know, to like have moved past that, so I need something else. To be a snob about. So, I like that I get to be a coffee snob…
That’s appealing in a person…
Uh, yeah no, something, something that you can feel like you are better than somebody.
That’s always, really attractive…
I know, especially when you throw it out on dates. No, I really like everybody here….All right, most memorable moment, a memorable moment, ahhhh….
Finally, she starts to tell me. A story from this past year’s Halloween.
Yeah, I mean, it’s no Bones….So, Kim and I. So, Kim and I, Kim and I came….Kim and I had been up all night trying to make costumes for Halloween, and so we get this call. Bones calls her in the morning, I had stayed there, So, Kim was like, answer the phone. It was a really weird conversation to be on the other side of…Bones wanted her to bring mascara to work….And we were thinking that, we were mostly hoping that Bones was after the black in the mascara to paint, like paste….I really hope that Bones doesn’t put it in her moustache….Because that would be like so disgusting. Yeah well, You have to tell her when you hand it to her that she’s not allowed to comb it through her stache, cuz’ that’s like crazy…..So, I just ended up hanging out at Diesel for a little while and at one point, Bnes calls her into the back and so you know like, I sneak back there and not only was Bones’ plan to dye her moustache with the mascara all along, but she had Kim do it for her.
You really like moustaches, huh?
I fucking love moustachios!!!! Like right now, I couldn’t possibly be more envious of Joe because he gets to parade around with his ‘stache all day long….
What is your favorite food?
Yeah, I mean, ah. I think my favorite base food is like spaghetti which is like boring but things that are more interesting go with those things. And rice. Spaghetti and rice. Crammed inside a baked potato.
Favorite coffee?
Yeah, I liked the House Original….I really like the Ethiopia too.
Favorite coffee drink?
Ah, coffee. And I like espresso as well, but I don’t like fancy drinks that much….
How do you take your coffee?
Straight up, like my women.
Favorite café?
Yeah. Yeah I do. I guess I like it here.
Favorite Animal?
Yeah! I really like, um, possums, raccoons, um, cats, I like woodland things.
Person you would most like to meet.
Pause…..Ahhh, I don’t care about anybody, I guess…..I am content not having to meet anyone.
Favorite cocktail/mocktail?
Whiskey or orange soda. I like gin and tonics, they make me feel old. Smell like Grandma….
Favorite activity.
Um…No, just…Yeah I like dancing. Yeah. I do like that.
Favorite movie.
Home Alone.
Do you identify with McCauley Culkin?
Ah yeah, uh, I both identify with and am desperately in love with….
Favorite Book.
Um…I really like um…Uh, I don’t know how to read, you know that. You always find a way to bring it up.
Let’s pretend you could read, what would be your favorite book?
I guess I really like Breakfast with Champions. I like the pictures that Kurt Vonnegut drew. I think that’s the answer I would have given in high school.
What were you studying in school?
Animation, mostly. We didn’t have to declare, but I accidentally discovered that I liked it. Sculpture. And animation, mixed media….martial arts….
Music that you are enjoying right now?
I can kind of hear the music upstairs and Tucker’s voice is nice….Well. Guided by Voices is always a good one….
Funny story?
Change names here. Um…You know, involving Diesel Folk??? I think a lot of funny things happen. I burn Kim a lot. I think we hrt each other a lot on the floor here. That’s usually funny, I think that’s really funny…Yeah, because, I’ll pour an entire shot of espresso on Kim’s hand and she’ll like drop the Americano water on my crotch and everyone around feels better. It’s a morale booster…..Ok, um…
What is your favorite thing to wear to work?
My pink G-string. Jeans and a T-shirt. My lion t-shirt, but it’s white. And where my stomach kind of sticks out, it gets…..she rubs her tummy to indicate….
Favorite Designer?
She looks at me with mild disdain.
No I don’t. Ummm. The guy on ProjectRunway, made me laugh a lot. No, I don’t have a favorite, no, we’re gonna go with Levi. That’s a classic standby.
Favorite Hat Style
Fitted, flat rimmed, god, I wish that were my favorite. I just have a lot of them. I don’t really wear them, but I have worn flat rimmed, with the sticker on ’em to keep ‘em fresh.
How Do you Get to work?
Practice. I just purchased a bicycle and I like to ride it, but it’s cold now, so the bus, or my car, I don’t really walk anymore….
Best Advice you Ever Got.
My most recent advice. That I ever got. Bones told me no sleep overs until after 3 months. Bones gave me a series of advice that was too little too late…...That’s the problem, I so rarely listen to people….
Only child? Middle child?
No, Youngest… Oh, now, you got me like all figured out now??
Celebrity Crush:
Aside from McCauley Culkin….We flip through a couple of my magazines.
Zooey Deschanel
Food Aversions
Mmmmhmmmm. I do, yeah! But the thing is, I have like ethical food aversions and then actual food aversions. I’m not crazy about meat in general, the idea of it, but I eat it anyways. I mean, apathy won out a little bit…but um, I feel really guilty. I have an aversion to the guilt I feel when I consume animals, but, I don’t like raisins and I don’t like…I pretty much eat anything.
Favorite Dance move:
You know what I have an aversion to? I have an aversion to…certain foods, that like, dishes that put, try to make themselves more fancy by putting fruit in them. Like, cranberries and raisins….that was more of a complaint, sorry…
Favorite dance move?
Wait, what’s a salmon’s favorite dance move? Poppin Lox. Pop, Lock and Drop it?
I admit that I don’t know what Pop Lock and Drop It is….
Oh God, Where is Tucker???? You know what I hate???? I hate explaining jokes to people….
Favorite Technology?
Oh my god, my favorite science???? My favorite science….
Um, I said technology.
I’m taking this bus and driving it straight off a cliff. Dude computer science…is so smart. Those little smart boxes that you can get your internet on. Carry around with you.
Like the iphone?
Well, yeah, like NO, like all of them. I don’t have one…..
I like video games that’s a good technology. For me. That’s me.
Favorite YouTube Video?
I like any video that shows people falling down, in a funny way. Have you ever seen….Charlotte, was it Charlotte? It’s a really long video and she’s singing and she’s totally making up this song as she goes….She’s totally making up this song and puts on these ugly-ass shoes and she gets up on this table and, she’s a big girl, and falls over and lies on the ground for a long time….Yeah, pretty much not like America’s Funniest Home video, kind of way….Babies laughing….Oh angry cats, really angry cats that are like screaming and…
Favorite Color?
Yellow!